Thanks to Kovid makes the trip risky. You should not feel guilty while staying at home.

When I tell my friends that my adult daughter will not attend Thanksgiving dinner, they usually ask: “Where does she live?”

“Ten miles away,” is my befitting reply. I must admit that knowing my only child is very close to me and have not visited since March, which often makes me angry. My better angels ask me to shush: “He is worried about infecting you and his father because you are at an age where you are in contact with Kovid-19.

It comes down to a value: genuine concern for the physical and emotional well-being of the person you love.

I hope and pray that my better self prevails for the most part in her interactions with him. But to the extent that I have made it difficult to stick to her decision – by arguing that a masked visit is safe, by telling her how much I miss her, all the other arguments she has thrown at me – I Wrong is dead

She refuses to travel because she loves us and does not want to endanger us. I can minimize the risk, because she is not the kind of woman who wanders outside at the bar and reduces social distance. In fact, he is very careful. But risk is not the only factor here – it is also a matter of respecting his decision, which no one, including myself, should second guess.

According to health experts and government officials, Kovid-19 is spreading to most parts of the country at an alarming pace these days and the multitude of holidays that begin with Thanksgiving are a major source of potential infection. Nevertheless, some 38 percent of Americans say they plan a big celebration with 10 or more people in the holidays. This means that many of us who want to be careful will be struggling with the dinner invitations we are careful to attend.

No one can be better off with guilt than close friends and family members. So the season, which has become synonymous with spending time with loved ones, will now be filled with arguments, recharge and manipulation. It takes a lot of stamina to stick to someone’s guns and not give in. In fact, The New York Times recently interviewed two clinical psychologists, a family physician and an expert, about appropriate strategies for navigating this new Third Rail relationship. (How did dinner invitations be reduced as an attempt to settle the Palestinian-Israeli conflict or to draw a decent conclusion to Brexit?)

But we should not present medical journals or risk models to make our case for not being present. Thanksgiving is considered a day of love and celebration. If I am anxious and fearful about participating, then I should have enough reason to accept my decision to decline.

Granted, not all families play crime cards. But if they invite a relative or friend, they know if he is at high risk, is he not motivated to attend himself? Kinnear’s gesture won’t be to let them know that they welcome him, but actually discourage him from showing up, especially if it involves a plane trip? The loved ones do not want to accept it, but the stakes cannot be high. As the former director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stated, “A Zoom Thanksgiving is a lot better than an IC Christmas.”

It comes down to a value: genuine concern for the physical and emotional well-being of the person you love.

Consider my friend, a cancer survivor from the last 70 years who faced family engagements this year. She made several plane trips to attend birthday parties and bathed at least one child, although her relatives do not wear masks or social distances when they are together. She told me that she attends these events mainly because her family is very happy to see her.

Young individuals who have an underlying medical condition may be in a worse bind. They can look healthy and vigorous, and want to keep their health issues private. If grandchildren are involved the pressure may be even greater. But the rejection of an invitation should be nothing more than a polite refusal – “I don’t feel comfortable traveling this year” – not to present medical records.

I think I (partially) understand why this is happening. The epidemic has made every event more terrible this year, and thus more valuable. It is easy, during this time of risk and isolation, to idealize our real-world experience of family feasts and thanks to a hallmark card image of thanks, even if so dearly to an image of the past Impossible to catch. To cope with the demands of the present.

There is also a simple refusal to play. When reality is inconvenient, it may seem easy to ignore. People do not want to believe that relatives can die if exposed; Ironically, they force them to participate in dangerous rituals to strengthen their faith of invincibility. But the desire for normality – even delicious food – doesn’t do it. I like to dine on my daughter’s delicious chocolate cake and sweet potato pie and scrumptious mashed potatoes. He is a far better cook in the family, and traditionally kicks me out of the kitchen on Thanksgiving. But I will just have to overcome this.

And yet we cannot escape the fact that this thanksgiving will be like no other, no matter what we do, and it can “normalize” our will in some way. Fear may drive our passion for solidarity this year, in fact, because somewhere in our collective hymns, we worry that we might not be around for the holidays next year. So many people have died, and this virus seems so fickle. It can leave some people mild or without symptoms, hospitalize others, cause persistent medical problems for “long-lasting,” and kill others quickly.

We are desperate to get that final embrace, in what is probably the last good time. The problem is that everything we do can make us absolutely safe or predict our future. Our only option is to honor the choice of those we love, and by doing so confirm that love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *